In the past, when religious influence on marriage was much greater, the officiant would tell the bride and groom to extinguish their individual candles after they lighted the Unity Candle. Today, modern couples believe that their unity is strengthened by keeping themselves strong, and the officiant says something like Do not extinguish your individual candles. Remember, you are individuals choosing to unite in marriage. As a braid of strands is stronger and more flexible than a single strand, the bond of your marriage will strengthen with your unique weave. This modern approach may broach a potential argument between generations, but the decision is entirely up to the bride and groom because it characterizes their unique marriage. These three candles represent each one of you and your marriage. You will take your individual candles and light the large candle in the center, the candle representing your unity in marriage. But I don’t want you to blow out your individual candles, for your individual selves will remain burning and bright even as you become unified in your lives together. Let the lighting of these candles reflect our thoughts on this day. Prior to this moment you each walked separate paths. Now as you light your candle, you embark on a marital partnership–a single path together. Traditionally, the couple lights a central pillar candle from two taper candles, which are lit by representatives of each partys family at the beginning of the ceremony. This lighting can be accompanied by a blessing, vows, or can be done on its own.
